Crime and Punishment

addressing Raskolnikov--“come along with me... Kozel’s house, looking
into the yard. I’m going to Katerina Ivanovna--time I did.”

Raskolnikov had for some time been wanting to go and he had meant to
help him. Marmeladov was much unsteadier on his legs than in his speech
and leaned heavily on the young man. They had two or three hundred
paces to go. The drunken man was more and more overcome by dismay and
confusion as they drew nearer the house.

“It’s not Katerina Ivanovna I am afraid of now,” he muttered in
agitation--“and that she will begin pulling my hair. What does my hair
matter! Bother my hair! That’s what I say! Indeed it will be better if
she does begin pulling it, that’s not what I am afraid of... it’s her
eyes I am afraid of... yes, her eyes... the red on her cheeks, too,
frightens me... and her breathing too.... Have you noticed how people
in that disease breathe... when they are excited? I am frightened of
the children’s crying, too.... For if Sonia has not taken them food...
I don’t know what’s happened! I don’t know! But blows I am not afraid
of.... Know, sir, that such blows are not a pain to me, but even an
enjoyment. In fact I can’t get on without it.... It’s better so. Let